A huge tip to living a happy life is to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s important to remember that people are always doing the best they can, including you. We are all doing the best we can given whatever tools and resources we have, and the circumstances that we are experiencing.
Unfortunately, too often we take things personally that aren’t, look for what’s wrong, and critically judge the people around us. It is often easier to do this instead of bringing a sense of appreciation, understanding & forgiveness to people and situations in our lives.
We can save ourselves from unnecessary stress when we take a deep breath and remember that most of the time people aren’t out to upset us or disappoint us. When we remember this we can give people the benefit of the doubt.
Here are some other things you can do that will keep you from overreacting so you can give people the benefit of the doubt.
1) Don’t take things personally. Too often in life we take things personally that have nothing to do with us. This doesn’t mean we let people walk all over us or treat us in disrespectful ways. However, when we stop taking things so personally, we liberate ourselves from needless upset, defensiveness, and conflict.
2) Look for the good in others. We almost always find what we look for. If you want to find things about your partner or boss that you don’t like, just look for them, you will find some. On the other side, if you want to find some of their best qualities -you will find them as well. In every human being there is both garbage and gold, it’s up to us to choose what we pay attention to.
3) Seek first to understand. Often when we’re frustrated, annoyed, or in conflict with another person, we don’t feel heard, or understood. As challenging as this can be, one of the best things we can do is to shift our attention from trying to get other people to understand us is to seek to understand the other person first. Being curious, understanding, and even empathetic of another person and their perspective or feelings doesn’t mean we agree with them, it simply allows us to get into their world and see where they’re coming from – which is essential to letting go of judgment, connecting with them, and ultimately resolving the conflict.
Everyone around us – our friends, co-workers, significant other, family members, children, & clients- are doing the best they can, given the resources they have. When we remember this and come from a truly compassionate perspective (with others and with ourselves), we’re able to tap into a deeper level of happiness & appreciation.
When was the last time you gave someone the benefit of the doubt and you were so glad you did?
