One of the tools that I have found that works well in conflict resolution are the “8 Step Conflict Worksheets”. It is important to go through one step at a time without skipping a step. Each step is built onto the next step. As you and your boss (or co-worker) work on each together and fill out one of the conflict worksheets, the conflict will start to disappear.
1. Set a time and place for discussion. Allow at least 30 minutes.
First, schedule a meeting with your co-worker or boss. Allow for a least 30 minutes. Set a time and place. Bring paper and pen. Ask the person who feels more comfortable to write the notes.
Meeting Location: ________________________________
Date: _________________________________________
Time: _________________________________________
2. Decide on one important problem you would like to resolve.
Start with a problem that you think is possible to resolve and write the problem above. Remember to be specific. Example: “Arguing in front of the customers hurt not only us but business as well, rather than, “I don’t like the way YOU put me down in a rude way in front of the customers.” The problem needs to be something that you are both willing to “own”.
3. Brainstorm and list all possible solutions.
List as many possible solutions as you can to the problem. Let all your ideas come out. Do not hold any idea back. Remember you’re only brainstorming your thoughts. Do not evaluate, judge or criticize any of the ideas at this point. This will only shut down the thought process and stall your communication.
1) _____________________________________________________________
2) _____________________________________________________________
3) _____________________________________________________________
4) _____________________________________________________________
5) _____________________________________________________________
4. After reviewing your lists together, pick at least one trial solution or combination of possible solutions that you both agree to try.
Your trial solution does not have to be the final solution. Decide on a trial period of one week, followed by an evaluation meeting.
Trial Solution:
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
5. Plan and agree how you will each carry out the chosen solution(s). Start today.
Be as specific as possible. Decide on what resources may be needed and obtain them.
Party 1: ___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
Party 2:______________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
6. List possible barriers that may hinder your success during the implementation and decide how to overcome the problems.
Party 1:
(Possible Barriers)_________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
(Solutions to Barriers)______________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
Party 2:
(Possible Barriers) _________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
(Solutions to Barriers)______________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
7. Set a place, date and time within the next week for a follow up meeting to review your progress.
Meeting Place:___________________________________
Date: _________________________________________
Time: _________________________________________
If the trial solution was unsuccessful, go back to Step 1 and try another solution Don’t become discouraged. Take your time to practice each step. If you have shown improvement, use this exercise to overcome other problems.
8. Pay attention to each other as the week passes. If you notice your co-worker or boss making a positive contribution toward the solution, give positive feedback for his/her efforts. Check in each week to see how things are going.
Fill out one of the conflict worksheets, follow the steps and you will be on your way to building healthy strategies for Conflict Resolution. I would love to hear your thoughts!
